Chuck Norris the Great !! Όλη η αλήθεια...
Υπάρχει ένας δικτυακός τόπος αφιερωμένος στον Chuck Norris !
Εκεί μπορείς να βρεις
μεγάλες ατάκες, για τον τεράστιο αυτό άνθρωπο !
Επειδή όμως αυτές είναι
πάααααρα μα πάαααρα πολλές, εγώ και οι πολύτιμοι - ικανότατοι συνεργάτες μου,
ψάξαμε κ βρήκαμε τις καλύτερες για εσάς !!!
Enjoy !
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself
up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire
spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I
don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
Chuck Norris eats
beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet,
which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this
as the "Circle of Life."
It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt
double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to
pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris
can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every
dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't
that merciful.
The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you
don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
.
Nagasaki never
had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the
ground.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had
a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and
fathered himself.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the
deputy.
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck
Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for
Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place
to store his porn.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring
contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
Industrial logging
isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
When God said,
"let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive
erection. There were no survivors.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the
Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants
are known today as Giraffes.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would
be Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and
Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into
preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds
long.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it
is.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce
tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris'
weight is his ***.
Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman
survives.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are
unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he
smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good
looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the
month.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a
problem-- It wouldn't take *** from anybody.
When Arnold says
the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied
that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow
him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure
indigestion.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't
nearly foolish enough to attack him.
In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the
Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code"
scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.
Chuck Norris' *** is so big, it has it's own ***, and that
*** is still bigger than yours.
There is no such thing as a ***, just a woman who has
never met Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the
first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third.
Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi (π =3,14…).
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no
such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Everything
Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richter scale.
Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven.
Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell
fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables
attached to his nipples.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was
the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!
Ο ωκεανός άδειασε,
ο Chuck Norris ξεδίψασε!
. . .
